Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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