if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
