You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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