someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
