First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
