I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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