why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
