Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
