what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize