Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I understand Curling. That high.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
