Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize