im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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