I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
