just come out here and I will go home with you...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Help. Why am I so naked?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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