fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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