I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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