you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
