It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
dude. I can hear the air.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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