Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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