oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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