hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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