Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
