Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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