Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize