I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
