That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
