Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
