Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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