found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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