did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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