I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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