He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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