Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
