Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My penis needs a shock collar
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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