Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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