I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
