We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
This is my gift to your gina
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
