I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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