is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
