He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
