just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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