As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
