did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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