so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
