I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
