there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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