his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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