my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
