"it" just moved
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Even my vagina gasped.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
