i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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