The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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