Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
