It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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