Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
