I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
