i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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