i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
