Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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