I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
